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Bullying: How parents can help

Strategies to prevent and address bullying

Keep communication open

Talking about bullying before it happens sets the stage for preventing and addressing the problem. Consider asking your child:

  • What good things happened today at school? What bad things?
  • What behaviors do you consider bullying?
  • What is it like at lunch, recess or on the school bus?
  • Have you seen bullying at school?
  • Do you have someone you can talk to at school if you're bullied?

Have a plan for responding

Talk to your child about strategies for responding to bullying. These may include the following actions:

  • Walk away and remove yourself from the situation.
  • If you feel safe, tell the person directly and calmly to stop.
  • Talk to a friend about what happened.
  • Talk to a trusted adult at school about what happened.
  • Avoid places that don't feel safe.
  • Try to spend time with friends and adults who are safe and supportive.

Encourage your child to be a defender

In most cases, when a child is bullied, other children witness it. Unfortunately, in some cases, the bystanders may encourage the bullying, join in or do nothing. Bystanders may worry about being a target of bullying or retaliation.

Defending a person being bullied, however, has positive outcomes. Taking action helps to stop bullying, prevent bullying and ensure that a person being bullied gets the necessary support. Encourage your child to:

  • Model inclusive, empathetic and kind behaviors.
  • Sit or walk with kids who may be a target of bullying.
  • Question the bullying behavior when it happens.
  • Enlist friends to question bullying behavior as a group.
  • Report bullying to a trusted adult.
  • Talk to the person being targeted privately.

Strategies for cyberbullying

Talk to your child about ways to be safe online. Your role may include the following:

  • Model appropriate use of devices, such as time spent online and use of respectful language.
  • Follow or "like" your child's social media accounts.
  • Search online for information available about your child.
  • Set up age-appropriate parental control on devices.
  • Establish guidelines for when and where devices can be used.
  • Create a contract for your child to sign regarding technology use and behaviors.
  • Know your child's passwords to any online accounts.
  • If you have significant concerns, look at an account with your child present.
  • Agree not to take away online privileges if your child is bullied online, as the response might discourage reporting.

Guidelines for children to prevent or address online bullying include the following:

  • Don't accept friend requests from unfamiliar people.
  • Expect everything you post to be online forever.
  • Don't share photos or videos you wouldn't share with a parent or other caregiver.
  • Don't reply to or forward any cyberbullying content.
  • Block users who have bullied online.

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